Perfectenschlag

Today is the first day of chemo. I thought it would be one day every two weeks but my asshole haji dr failed to tell me I would also be taking it home with me via an attached bag that I continue getting it for 3 days straight. Can’t shower, can’t unhook it, nothing.

before the actual infusion of chemo my gut and instinct were screaming at me to get up, walk out and live as long as I can as is. like Paula said, if I weren’t already dwindling down now she could see it. I am wasting away slowly so I hope the chemo will help me after it hurts me however it and my body decide how it’s gonna hit me.

Spent 2 hours getting ready, getting premeds and whatever. Just now started a bag that will go 2 hours. That is bag one of three.

this sucks cock.

I want a cigarette. This is like going on an overseas flight.

My honey, awesome honey Paula. Im so glad she is here with me but this is gonna get boring as hell. She’s gone to find some snacks now. I miss her already.