Tag: love

Pictures straight/Gut crooked

I got all the photos rotated straight (I think). They are straight on my iPad so that’s good enough for me…..even though, my brain doesn’t work like that. If they aren’t right on a pc it will drive me nuts till I figure the glitch out. But, for now I’m happy with it. My gut though has felt better days. Just now, I finally got some relief from a gut that hurts so no sad gut pain story tonight. Tomorrow I’m looking forward to my first ever yoga lesson that will hopefully make my morning pain and stiffness better. I want tomorrow to be a good music day. Blast some shit out of this house both inside and out. I am going to try the ‘all zone’ feature on the new amp which will utilize 13 speakers at once and blast everyone in a 2 block radius some motherfuckin punk rock. I think some US Bombs, some Hunns, some Bad Brains, Slayer, and maybe some Circle Jerks would kick it off good. Sunday I’m gonna take my honey out for a little day trip iPod relaxation and love.

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Pain, Life, Death, Living

I know there is shit going on inside of me that I have no control over. That being said and known, I feel like I always did and do. My brain has changed in the way I look at everyday things but I’m still the same guy I was before some asshole told me I have cancer. The pain in my back and stomach remind me daily that I have cancer but if not for that I wouldn’t know/think about it, I wish I wouldn’t think about it and in general I don’t but it’s inevitable that I do. I mostly wonder what is next. Each day seems about the same as far as pain goes so if that doesn’t change I think that’s just how it will be from here on out and if that were the case I can deal with that. I sometimes have to puke these thoughts out to get to the other side. My honey is my root, my girl, my life that keeps me pushing forward mentally. That love is so fucking good and strong. Nothing else like it. Our life together is the best thing this life of mine has known and I am a lucky mother fucker to have that and known, felt and been in. The love of my life. No words can ever describe it but we know it, we feel it, we live it. The best.

Anyway, I don’t feel like I’m gonna die. I feel alive, sharp and my mind is better knowing this fucked up thing is in me. Weird. It takes something like this to open your brain into something that that is a better way of processing and now it’s only for a limited time? Fuck that. I am living. Living till I die. Oh wait, I’m not special. Everyone is doing that except I have a slightly better odds of knowledge of my approximate time left. I’m gonna use it god dammit.

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